This month I have been focusing on the environment and how my thoughts and actions affect it, although, I have not been writing about it much. I have been in a quandary. This time of year is always packed with gardening duties: weeding, mulching and planting. The little tiny seedlings returning and fighting with the weeds for space in the garden make me glad for the restorative powers of nature. I help them along by giving them more space to grow and working the rain hardened soil around them. In doing so, I must kill. Is that fair? Is it spreading positive energy in the world? I read in a gardening book a while ago about a gardener who tried to make peace with all of nature and let the weeds grow along with his vegetables. Not wanting to use undue force against a naturally occurring plant or animal, he soon found that the weeds always win. His vegetables lost the battle if left to their own devices and failed to thrive and produce.
It’s not that I hate weeds. They do have good qualities. They’re resilient, opportunistic, longsuffering, faithful, strong and persistent. But they are awfully self-centered. I wouldn’t mind if they gave others a chance, but unrestrained, they would take over our whole yard. So I kill. And it is a personal, up close battle. One by one, I rip them out trying to totally eradicate them, roots and all. I do feel a slight twinge of guilt as I destroy life. And isn’t it egotistically judgmental to arbitrarily choose one life form over another? I try to make peace with this dilemma and find the positive in my actions. Maybe I am rationalizing my behavior, but the weeds I kill do provide nutrients to the soil as they decompose.
And always, I ponder how this applies to my own growth and becoming. I’m still working on that.